Raising a daughter can be overwhelming.
Fortunately, you don’t have to figure everything out on your own.
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?:
- You are frustrated about your daughter’s poor decisions and concerned about her future.
- You are overwhelmed and struggling to help your daughter navigate her challenges and disappointments. Sometimes it feels like her life packs in more drama than an episode of Scandal! (and you have a nagging feeling that she’s not telling you everything)
- You want your daughter to have the confidence to be herself and step out of her comfort zone, but she’s having a hard time fitting in at school and perhaps she is being excluded. You’re worried that her self-esteem will plummet and she will end up developing behavioral problems or more serious issues such as depression.
- You want your daughter to get into a competitive college or university, but she is nonchalant, doesn’t take school seriously, and is underachieving in one or more classes (even though she has plenty of time to text her friends and post “selfies” all day).
- Your daughter is stressed out about school, boys, dating, getting into college, her future or ____________(<—insert “OMG” moment of the week) and now you’re stressed!
- Your daughter is glued to her cell phone and you are overwhelmed trying to keep up with what she is doing online (or pulling your hair out after finding out what she is sharing with her friends or strangers on social media)
- You are tired of your daughter’s “eye rolling” and want to learn how to better understand and connect with her. You’re not sure about how to get her to open up and come to you instead of venting on social media or turning to her friends, boyfriend, or google when she is upset or struggling with a serious problem…
If you’re jumping out of your seat shouting “you just nailed it, Dr. Carla!” – then take a deep breath.
You’re in the right place.
I know it can be challenging, frustrating, and even scary to raise a daughter in today’s high-tech, media-saturated, and hypersexual world. Girls are told that they should be “good girls” and also taught that their worth and value comes solely from their appearance and bodies.
In order to emerge from their teen years as strong, happy, and confident young women, girls must learn to successfully navigate peer pressure and negative messages about girls and women.
Here’s the reality:
Yes, friendship struggles, relational aggression and bullying are on the rise during the tween and teen years when girls’ friendships become increasingly important and they are bombarded with a barrage of contradictory messages, social pressures, and harmful portrayals of women, girls and relationships in the mass media.
As your daughter navigates these formative years, she may be struggling to fit in, feeling left out, or pressured to conform to unhealthy stereotypes about girls and female friendships. Research has demonstrated that girls who are victimized by bullying and social cruelty during the early years are at risk for social isolation, loss of self-esteem and depression. Social cruelty between girls can also cause painful and long-lasting effects into the teen years and even adulthood.
Girls need support in dealing with social pressures and friendship struggles that affect their health and ability to learn and excel in school.
Here’s the good news:
Your daughter’s tween and teen years don’t have to be difficult if you have an expert and trusted advisor in your toolkit to guide you and your daughter along the way! I am here to help!
My name is Dr. Carla Stokes, Ph.D., M.P.H. and I am a teen health and behavior expert, youth empowerment speaker, and certified life and success coach. I operate a unique professional coaching, speaking, and consulting practice devoted to helping young women, girls (ages 9 and up) and their parents thrive through life’s pressures and transitions. I have educated and mentored thousands of youth and girls over the past two decades and I would love to help your daughter build confidence, make healthy choices, and reach her full potential.
I designed my unique coaching programs to help your daughter fall madly in love with herself from the inside out, get motivated, improve her relationships, and make healthy choices so she can create a bright future and achieve her dreams!
As your daughter’s personal coach and success mentor, you can think of me as her personal cheerleader, ally, and trusted advisor. I will see your daughter’s greatest potential – even when she doesn’t see or believe it – and work with her to build confidence, develop her strengths and become her greatest vision for herself. In our sessions, I will listen to her hopes and dreams and help her identify thoughts, behaviors, and situations that keep her from moving forward and reaching her full potential. Together, we will create an action plan that will empower her to discover her capabilities and accomplish her goals.
What are the Benefits of Coaching?
Your daughter will:
- Feel a stronger bond with you, and share more openly and honestly with respect
- Gain more confidence, happiness, and motivation
- Learn how to recognize and develop positive friendships and healthy relationships
- Improve her attitude and develop a positive outlook
- Learn to become more responsible, make healthy choices, and avoid teen risk taking/negative outcomes
- Overcome limiting beliefs that stop her from reaching her full potential
- Realize her strengths and create exciting goals
- Understand the impact of her choices on her life and future
- Avoid common mistakes that lead to parent-daughter conflict and misunderstandings
- Have an adult professional to talk to about sensitive topics that she may not feel comfortable talking to her parents about
- …and so much more!
As my private client, your daughter will meet with me and receive thought-provoking and inspirational exercises in between sessions to help her make progress in reaching her goals. Private clients can coach with me from the comfort of their own homes via phone/video Skype. I can also arrange to meet with you and your daughter in person in my Atlanta office or travel to your location within the United States (additional fees apply). In order to provide highly personalized solutions for my clients, I work with a small number of parents and have limited availability for new clients.
I periodically offer group coaching to provide a significantly more affordable option than private coaching. Group coaching also has the added benefit of providing a friendly and supportive place for girls to support each other. Girls enrolled in group coaching programs are held to high standards and expected to have a pleasant disposition to ensure an enjoyable experience for each group member. Click here to sign up for the waiting list.
Online Mentoring Program for Girls (Coming in 2014!)
It is my goal to share my work and have a positive impact on as many girls as possible, so I am currently developing an affordable, unique and exciting online group mentoring and coaching program for tween and teen girls. Please sign up for my email newsletter for parents/guardians to receive updates, special offers, and resources for parents.
How to Get Started
I am opening up a limited number of spots in my private coaching practice in April 2014 on a first come, first-served basis. To find out if coaching is a good fit for you, I invite you to apply for a complimentary “Dr. Carla, Help My Daughter!” Phone Consultation for parents who are serious about coaching with me and investing in their daughter’s health, happiness, and future success. I have limited availability for phone consultations and my schedule fills up quickly, so don’t delay!
Note: Coaching is a different approach than therapy and coaching is not appropriate for everyone. Please read the FAQ’s for more information before submitting an application.
Featured Success Story: Graduation with Honors from Lycee Francais de New York
“Over the past six months, I have observed big achievements and success…My daughter is more self-aware, has a more positive attitude, and is much more organized and better at managing stress…If you are thinking about coaching with Dr. Carla, I can assure you that the investment in your daughter’s happiness and future success is priceless!”
What were your daughter’s biggest challenges before coaching with Dr. Carla?
Before coaching with Dr. Carla, my 17-year-old daughter was fearful of success and worried about her future and what’s coming next after high school. She was very stressed out and struggled with time management and unstable self-esteem. I searched online for a teen success coach and felt comfortable about hiring Dr. Carla to help my daughter build confidence, try new things, manage stress, and improve her grades after our initial phone consultation.
For our first session, Dr. Carla met with us in Manhattan, which helped my daughter feel more comfortable about long distance video coaching. Her warm and engaging presence, combined with her high level of compassion, attentiveness, professionalism, and knowledge about teen girls let me know that we were in good hands. Dr. Carla used a variety of approaches and techniques to help my daughter learn how to deal with stress and disappointment with great sensitivity. She also taught her valuable life and academic skills, including how to create and stick with a study plan for her Baccalauréat exam.
What results did your daughter achieve while coaching with Dr. Carla?
After only a few weeks of coaching, I noticed that my daughter was taking more responsibility for herself and much more in tune with her feminine power. Over the past six months, I have observed big achievements and success. My daughter is more self-aware, has a more positive attitude, and is doing a better job of controlling her emotions when she is stressed out or thinking negatively. She is much more organized and better at managing stress, which helps her from becoming overwhelmed. As a single mother, I feel relieved from the entire weight of dealing with my daughter alone because I know that she can talk to Dr. Carla when she is struggling with a challenge or disappointment, especially when I am out of town.
Overall, the coaching has been very successful. While coaching with Dr. Carla, my daughter graduated with honors from a prestigious private school, earned her high school diploma and was admitted into her dream university. We are both thrilled that she achieved her goal of passing her Baccalauréat exam with a magna cum laude mention. She is also showing much more responsibility in her personal life. She is more in tune with herself and gaining back core skills that she exhibited during childhood. I have observed huge progress in terms of her body image. She is more accepting of herself, proud of her body, and feels that she is beautiful for the first time since was a little girl.
What is the most important thing parents and girls should know about coaching with Dr. Carla?
Investing in coaching for your daughter is like partnering with a professional ally who is devoted to helping you empower her. Dr. Carla actively listens to your daughter and provides feedback and accountability that helps her develop solutions to her challenges. Issues to be worked on are discussed in advance and when new issues emerge, the coaching plan is revised to adjust to the new needs and priorities. Getting your daughter coached by Dr. Carla is an active way to get a neutral and engaged ally in accelerating her self growth and self development to her fullest potential.
Would you recommend Dr. Carla’s coaching services to other parents?
I am pleased with Dr. Carla’s life-changing coaching program and have recommended her services to my colleagues without reservation. She has treated us like a priority and is highly attentive to our needs and concerns. When I have questions or concerns about my daughter, she provides helpful advice and resources.
My daughter looks forward to her regular coaching sessions and we are excited about continuing our coaching with Dr. Carla during my daughter’s first year away at college. I view Dr. Carla as a necessary partner in my daughter’s education and success.
What would you say to a parent who is undecided about hiring Dr. Carla?
If you are thinking about coaching with Dr. Carla, I can assure you that the investment in your daughter’s happiness and future success is priceless!
– Fanta’s Mother, Manhattan, NY
“While I was coaching with Dr. Carla, I got into my dream college in Montreal, Canada, graduated from Lycee Francais de New York, and passed my Baccalauréat exam with a magna cum laude mention. I would not have been able to accomplish all of my goals without her help!”
Where were you in your life before coaching with Dr. Carla?
Before coaching with Dr. Carla, I was a senior in high school and under a lot of academic stress and also dealing with self-criticism, self-confidence and self-esteem issues. I was being mean to myself and didn’t realize that I was standing in the way of my own success. I wanted a coach because I wanted an adult other than my Mom to be there for me when I have a problem.
How did you hear about Dr. Carla?
I heard about Dr. Carla through my mom. She searched online and found her.
Describe your experience coaching with Dr. Carla
Coaching with Dr. Carla is amazing! I Skype all the time w/friends so video coaching with Dr. Carla feels normal. It also helped that I met Dr. Carla in person in Manhattan for our first coaching session because it didn’t feel like I was Skyping with a stranger. Sometimes it is intense and I get emotional, but it is the kind of intensity that I need to be able to grow and move forward.
What results did you achieve while coaching with Dr. Carla?
After 6 months of coaching with Dr. Carla, I am more laid back and not as stressed out or jumping to conclusions as quickly as before. I am also noticing when I start to think negatively and I am able to shift to positive thinking and believing more in myself. During my coaching with Dr. Carla, I got into my dream college in Montreal, Canada, graduated from Lycée Français de New York, and passed my Baccalauréat exam with a magna cum laude mention. I would not have been able to accomplish all of my goals without her help!
Dr. Carla taught me how to get organized and work with a study schedule that we created together. I improved my study skills and learned how to deal with conflict with my mom and how to deal with disappointment and rejection without getting as upset and stressed out as I used to. It is nice to have someone to talk to about my anxieties and worries about the Baccalauréat exam. I was overwhelmed and Dr. Carla helped me create a study strategy that really helped me.
What was the biggest lesson learned from coaching with Dr. Carla?
The best part about coaching with Dr. Carla is learning how to deal with my limiting beliefs. That was the breaking point and it made me stare right into the face of the problem. I noticed that all of the things I felt were wrong in her life were really the result of the negative story I was telling myself about them. I am much happier now that I have learned how to focus on everything I have to feel grateful for. Dr. Carla helped me realize that I can decide how to react to certain situations that are out of my control.
Would you recommend Dr. Carla’s coaching programs to other young women and parents?
Yes, I would recommend coaching with Dr. Carla because I am really seeing how much I changed over the past 6 months and I love the results. I know that with time, I will continue to get better. To see so much positive growth and improvement in my life is like, wow! If you’re not sure about coaching with Dr. Carla, just try it and see. Don’t be afraid to take a risk because at the end it’s really worth it!
What’s the most important thing people should know about coaching with Dr. Carla?
It doesn’t feel like Dr. Carla is just my coach because she is really invested in me. She’s not just doing her job – it’s much more than that. I love knowing that I can reach out to Dr. Carla in between sessions and she will be there for me. Coaching with Dr. Carla is not always serious. We talk about serious stuff but we also laugh and have fun!
– Fanta P., Montreal, Canada
Rave Reviews from Young Women and Girls
- “Over the years I’ve been able to talk to Dr. Carla about my issues without feeling bad about what I was going through. She talks with me, not at me and gives me great advice that I can relate to everyday life.” - Jakia
“I know all the girls including myself feel like we can talk to Dr. Carla about anything and you’ll listen and we talk about this all the time like how we look at her as our sister and not just a teacher or mentor… She’s not just another adult telling us what to do.” – Amber
“Dr. Carla is someone who you can really trust and look up to. She is someone who I can go and talk to about any of my problems whether it’s a boyfriend or even something deeper. She is a great motivator. She is someone who I can call my big sister. I know she won’t judge me about any problem I may have in my life.” – Sesyli
“Dr. Carla is one of the few adults that I knew who can converse with youth on their level. She is very honest, caring and inspirational…She truly cares about our youth and is so selfless in doing so… She has a good heart and she shows her dedication each day when she goes into the community to educate.” - Ja’Celynn
Please read the Frequently Asked Questions for more information.